Perception is Reality:

In the 1980s, the American political strategist Lee Atwater said simply and succinctly: “Perception is reality”.

Perception is reality – this three-word phrase carries profound significance. It is the lens through which we view our world, shaping our understanding of ourselves, the people around us, and society at large. It is not just a point of view, but a fundamental truth that influences our actions, reactions, and ultimately, our results. As we embark on the journey to winning, we must first triumph over the battleground of perception.

Winning the Inner Game

This chapter explores the three pillars of perception – Perception of others in our life, Perception of you as created within society/social media, and Perception of self. We’ll learn from the wisdom of thought leaders like Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Jordan Peterson, Geno Auriemma, Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, and John Wooden, drawing upon their writings and speeches to enlighten our understanding.

The Power of Your Tribe:
Perception of Others in Your Life

Perception is reality

In the quest for winning, the role of those around us cannot be overstated. As the legendary Jim Rohn observed, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This reality showcases the transformative power of our immediate social circle – their perceptions can significantly shape our personal reality. It’s a phenomenon of social mirroring, wherein we unconsciously adopt the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors of those closest to us.

The charismatic life coach Tony Robbins emphasizes the connection between the quality of our lives and the expectations of our peer group. We are deeply influenced, consciously and unconsciously, by their perceptions and expectations.

So, how can we leverage this reality? Be intentional about the company you keep. Seek out those who inspire you, who push you to grow. Yet, maintain your uniqueness. Absorb the positive, let the negative flow past. Remember, you are not merely a reflection of others’ perceptions – you are the artist of your own reality.

The Digital Persona:
Perception of You Created Within Society/Social Media

Social Media Perception is reality

As we navigate the digital age, the perception of us within society and on social media has taken on a new dimension. It’s an arena where perception can often eclipse reality. This phenomenon reminds us of the wisdom imparted by John Wooden, the exceptional basketball coach, who said, “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation.”

Today, our society shapes a narrative, a brand of ‘you.’ Social media platforms magnify this perception, often blurring the lines between reality and illusion. Robbins suggests, “It’s not about the goal. It’s about growing to become the person that can accomplish that goal.” Society and social media can either facilitate or hinder this growth.

How can we navigate this new digital reality? Remember, you are more than your online persona. Authenticity resonates. Stand for your values, share not just your triumphs but also your trials. Use these platforms to inspire, to learn, and to narrate your own unique journey. You are the author of your story, society, and social media are just the platforms.

The Inner Self:
Perception of Who You Are

What do you see when you look in the mirror every morning?

Jordan Peterson, a noted psychologist, preaches the importance of putting your house in order before criticizing the world. This advice extends to our perception as well. Our self-perception lays the foundation of our reality. It’s the prism through which we view and interpret the world.

However, we often fall into the trap of becoming our own harshest critics. This skewed self-perception can create a harsher reality than what truly exists. Geno Auriemma, a renowned basketball coach, aptly said, “What you permit, you promote. What you allow, you encourage.” If we permit a distorted self-perception, we promote a distorted reality.

How can we adjust this perception? Robbins proposes changing our strategy. Understand that you are a work in progress. Recognize your flaws, but celebrate your strengths. Own your mistakes, but also revel in your victories. The pursuit is not for perfection but for progression. By embracing our complexities, we start altering the perception of self.

Overcoming Frustration

Overcome your frustration by changing your perception of reality

Embarking on the journey of changing perception isn’t easy. It’s fraught with frustrations and obstacles. But as Robbins advises, “Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions.” Frustrations are not walls, they are mirrors. They reflect what we need to understand about our perceptions and ourselves.

John Wooden’s philosophy adds a powerful perspective to dealing with frustrations – “Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” When faced with frustration, focus on your strengths and abilities. Transform frustrations into growth opportunities.

Barack Obama’s wisdom fits here beautifully. He once said, “Change is never easy, but always possible.” Changing perceptions is no different. It’s a journey filled with challenges, but the destination makes the journey worthwhile.

Abraham Lincoln’s statement provides another layer of insight. He said, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” We can apply this to our perceptions. We can shape our future by consciously molding our perceptions today.

Wrap UP

Pick the facts you want and reinforce them in everything you do

“Perception is reality.” This powerful statement carries immense implications for our journey towards winning. However, perception is not fixed. Like a river, it is fluid, adapting and evolving with time. It is influenced by our experiences and in turn, influences our reality.

Navigating the journey of perception may seem like traversing a complex maze, but it is through this maze that we come to understand ourselves and our world. Every twist, every turn, every dead-end, and every clear path offers lessons for growth.

Embark on this journey with courage, patience, and resilience. For it is through understanding and molding our perceptions that we earn our victories, not just in the world outside, but most importantly, in the battleground within. In the end, perception isn’t just reality, it’s the foundation upon which our winning is built and ultimately, earned.

What is your experience?
Please share in the comments!

Please leave a comment below and let us know your experiences with the “Perception is Reality” concept in your life, good or bad. It will make our website more interesting and we would really appreciate it!

Additional Resources related to
“Perception is Reality”….

Tony Robbins’ Awaken the Giant Within – This book delves deep into the concept of personal perception and provides actionable steps on how to harness and change our perceptions. You can look for it on Amazon or other book-selling platforms.

Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos– Peterson explores the importance of self-perception and self-improvement. This book can be found on multiple platforms like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc. [The hardcover version is, at the time of this writing, selling for less than $15 on Amazon.com.]

Jim Rohn‘s 7 Strategies for Wealth & Happiness” – This book presents strategies on how to better navigate the influence of others’ perceptions in your life.

John Wooden‘s “Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court” – This book provides insights into how society’s perception of an individual can influence their actions.

The Obama White House Archives – On this website, you can find many speeches where Barack Obama discusses change and overcoming adversity.

Geno Auriemma’s Interviews and Speeches – Auriemma often speaks about self-perception and leadership in sports. His interviews and speeches can be found on various sports news websites and video-sharing platforms like YouTube.

Lincoln’s Letters and Speeches – Abraham Lincoln’s letters and speeches are insightful, many of which discuss the power of self-creation and shaping one’s future. These can be found on academic databases or dedicated historical sites.

Other points of view:

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain – This book provides a contrasting view on how perception is influenced by introverted versus extroverted personality traits.

The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains” by Nicholas Carr – This book discusses the impact of the internet (including social media) on our minds, offering a different perspective on the influence of digital platforms on our self-perception and reality.

Affirmations for Athletes

Afffirmations 4 Athletes by Coach WheelerAffirmations are a powerful way for you, as an athlete, to overcome ways of thinking that are holding you back from becoming your best.  Society has programmed many “limiting beliefs” into your mind over your lifetime. If you have read my post about Mental Management, you will notice that affirmations are one way that you can use your Conscious Mind to program your Subconscious Mind and improve your Self Image.

You will also find that doing affirmations on a regular basis will improve your focus on positive outcomes or goals while pushing out thoughts about the obstacles / limiting factors / fear of the unknown you might be experiencing.

This article will define affirmations, show you how to build effective ones as well as provide some samples that you can use or adapt to your own situation.

What are affirmations?

Affirmations are statements that you write down and say on a regular basis, ideally every day, multiple times a day. Repetition is key. The more often you say the affirmation, the more likely it is to come true.

Affirmations Experience by Scott AdamsDon’t believe me?

It is good to be skeptical, especially when we are talking about changing how your brain is programmed. On the other hand, if there is something that will make your life better, don’t you deserve to learn about it? Here is the link to an article by the creator of the comic strip Dilbert, Scott Adams, that talks about why he thinks affirmations work. He also talks extensively about his experiences using affirmations in his book, “How to fail at almost everything and still win big“. Let’s assume that between what Coach Wheeler and Scott Adams have said, you want to learn more about how to use affirmations to improve your life.

How do I create effective affirmations?

The key to making affirmations that work is three-fold…

(1) Affirmations must be in the present tense. They might start with “I am…” They are built on the assumption that the goal or state of being that you desire is already happening. This is important since your mind will begin to believe whatever you say, especially if it is repeated enough. I am sure you have seen this happen to someone, maybe even yourself, where sticking to their story for so long that you believe it is true. Even if the person is delusional (i.e. disconnected from reality), their decision making is based on the “future reality” that they desire and believe. Because of this, their actions fall in line with that reality. The result? You create the reality that you believe.

(2) Don’t use negatives. Replace negative statements with something positive that overcomes the negative. For example, if you want to reduce the number of turnovers you commit in games, don’t use “I won’t turn over the ball.” Instead, focus on the positive condition that removes the negative, such as “I am an excellent passer.”

Belief comes from repetition(3) True or Not? A successful affirmation should represent what you want to be true, not necessarily what is already true. Some people have trouble imagining a different life where they enjoy an upgraded existence, especially if they are in the middle of some sort of crisis. When things are not going your way, that is exactly when you need to develop a vision for a better tomorrow. The easiest way to make that “better tomorrow” happen is to imagine how it will feel and consistently program your mind to believe it will happen. Affirmations are the perfect tool to use the power of words to start thinking differently about your situation. Once you think different, you will act different and things will change.

Sample Affirmations for Athletes:

Below are some examples that you can use or adapt to fit your own situation. These sample affirmations are geared toward somethings that athletes may find helpful. If you have additional ideas, please be sure to leave a comment below!

  • I make every open shot.
  • I control the game.
  • I make my team mates better.
  • I deliver the ball so my team mates can easily score.
  • I am in amazing shape and better conditioned than my competitors.
  • I am mentally tough. Nothing can stop me from achieving my goals.
  • I am a winner.
  • I constantly learn, grow and improve my game.
  • I perform well under pressure.
  • I am a good team mate.
  • I work hard and produce results. *
  • I can be trusted and never let down my team. *

* These last couple affirmations are more “character-related” (versus skill-related or outcome-oriented). For a downloadable Character Assessment Worksheet based on the work by Brett Ledbetter from “What Drives Winning”, check out the link to this article. [link coming soon]

Bottom Line:

Warning… Don’t compare your affirmations with what other people are doing. Your affirmations are specifically for YOU and YOU can be great! Don’t let anyone tell you that your aspirations and goals are “unrealistic”. Greatness, by definition, requires you go beyond ordinary to achieve the “extraordinary” !

This is what will happen as you start doing affirmations. You will begin to notice when you are in situations like the ones in your affirmations. This recognition along with the memory of what you have stated in your affirmation will move you toward achieving your affirmation. Will it happen immediately? Not likely… but it could. You might realize that you were closer to your affirmation than you imagined. If not now, when? In other words, how sure are you that it will it happen eventually? 100%. The sooner you start your affirmations, the sooner you will see results.

 

Coach’s Obstacle of the Week (COW) #2 – Words

cow-basketballOne of the biggest pet peeves I have as a coach is the damaging words that players sometimes use.  As we get older, we appreciate how important the words we use are and, as a coach, one of the worst things to hear is when one of the players on the team says “I can’t”.  I know how much damage those words are doing to that player in terms of confidence and future potential and I can feel my blood pressure starts to rise.  I would much prefer them to say “I am not yet able” and I will tell you why…

Words program our minds

We all have an “internal dialog” going on in our head.  We are telling ourselves what everything means that happens to us and this often leads to the mood we are in, or worse, whether we quit and never reach our full potential.

The good news is that we can take control of our internal dialogue and start to program our mind to take us where we want to go in life (and on the court).  The first step to controlling our internal dialogue is noticing what you are saying and putting a stop to the words or phrases that are holding you back.

light-hfordAs I mentioned before, one great example is “I can’t”.  Whenever you catch yourself saying, or thinking, the words “I can’t”, immediately STOP and take another look at the situation.  When you say “I can’t” that implies that you never will.  The reality often is that you simply have not trained long enough to accomplish the task or have not learned what is required to do it.  I always come back to the idea that if someone else has done it, then I can too.  I just need to find out what they did and do the same thing (or at least use their path as a guide to my success).  This is called “modeling” and is a powerful tool to get what you want.

What words or phrases are holding back your players?

Another word that I hate to hear are the infamous, “But”.  “Coach, I know that is the right way to do it, but…”  Typically the word “but” is followed by an excuse.  At the very least, it says that the statement they just made is not true or they don’t believe it is possible.  As a speaker friend of mine likes to say, “You can either have results or excuses. Your choice.”

Are there words or phrases that you hear that are holding back players?  What are they? How do you turn them around?  What words are better replacements?  Leave a comment below and let us know!

Did you miss COW# 1?  Check it out here…
Coach’s Obstacle of the Week (COW) # 1