Category: Problems

The Power of Struggle Time:

Why Embracing the Struggle Leads to Growth

In today’s fast-paced world, where immediate results are often prioritized over long-term growth, the concept of “struggle time” can seem counterintuitive. As a teacher and coach, I’ve found that one of the most challenging aspects of my role is convincing administrators, parents, and especially students or players, that struggling is not just okay—it’s essential.

study about struggling time during math class in USA vs japan

The video shared in a recent Facebook post (link below) illustrates the profound impact of embracing struggle. But what exactly is “struggle time,” and why is it so crucial?

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/F9286Xwytiz8BDoM

Understanding “Struggle Time”

“Struggle time” refers to the period during which an individual is faced with a challenging task, one that is not immediately solvable. This is the time when frustration, confusion, and even failure might occur. It’s the time when the mind is pushed to its limits, where the easy solutions don’t work, and where one is forced to think critically, creatively, and persistently to overcome obstacles.

In educational and athletic contexts, struggle time is often viewed as a negative experience. Many believe that if a student or player is struggling, it means they are not understanding the material or that they are not performing well. However, this mindset overlooks the fundamental truth that growth occurs in the struggle. It is in these moments of difficulty that true learning and development happen.

The Value of Struggle in Learning

Research in educational psychology supports the idea that struggle is a critical component of learning. When students or athletes are presented with challenges that are slightly beyond their current abilities, they are forced to engage more deeply with the material or skill. This deeper engagement leads to a more profound understanding and mastery.

Consider the concept of “desirable difficulties,” coined by psychologist Robert Bjork. Desirable difficulties are challenges that make learning harder in the short term but improve long-term retention and performance. When students are given time to struggle through a problem, they are more likely to remember the solution and understand the underlying principles. This is because the effort required to overcome the difficulty creates stronger neural connections in the brain.

Struggle in Sports: Building Resilience and Character

In sports, struggle time is just as critical. It’s easy to celebrate the victories, the moments of triumph where everything comes together. But it’s in the moments of struggle—when the game isn’t going well, when the training is grueling, when the competition is fierce—that athletes develop the resilience and mental toughness needed to succeed.

Take the story of Michael Jordan, widely regarded as one of the greatest basketball players of all time. Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team as a sophomore. He didn’t make the team, and that struggle drove him to work harder, to push himself beyond what he thought was possible. Jordan himself has said that it was the struggles, the failures, and the challenges that made him the player he became.

Struggle time teaches athletes to persevere, to keep pushing when things are tough. It teaches them that failure is not the end but a stepping stone to success. It builds character, resilience, and a mindset that welcomes challenges as opportunities for growth.

Overcoming the Resistance to Struggle Time

Despite the clear benefits of struggle time, there is often resistance to embracing it. In the classroom, parents and administrators may worry that students who are struggling are falling behind. They may push for easier tasks or more assistance, thinking that this will help the student succeed. In sports, coaches may feel pressured to focus on winning rather than development, leading to a reluctance to let players experience the struggle.

This resistance is understandable. We all want to see our students and athletes succeed. We want to protect them from failure and frustration. But in doing so, we may be doing them a disservice. By shielding them from struggle, we deny them the opportunity to develop the skills and mindset they need to overcome challenges in the future.

To overcome this resistance, it’s important to reframe the way we think about struggle. Instead of viewing it as a sign of failure, we need to see it as a necessary part of the learning process. We need to communicate to students, athletes, parents, and administrators that struggle is not something to be feared but something to be embraced.

Practical Strategies for Implementing Struggle Time

So, how can we, as teachers and coaches, effectively implement struggle time in our classrooms and on our teams? Here are some practical strategies:

  1. Normalize Struggle: Start by normalizing struggle in your environment. Talk openly about the challenges you face and how you’ve overcome them. Share stories of famous individuals who have struggled and persevered. Encourage students and athletes to share their own struggles and how they’ve worked through them.
  2. Create a Safe Environment: For struggle time to be effective, students and athletes need to feel safe. They need to know that it’s okay to make mistakes and that failure is part of the process. Create an environment where effort is valued as much as success, and where individuals are encouraged to take risks and push themselves.
  3. Provide Appropriate Challenges: It’s important to provide challenges that are appropriate for the individual’s current level. The tasks should be difficult enough to require effort but not so difficult that they become overwhelming. As students and athletes grow, gradually increase the difficulty of the tasks to continue pushing them out of their comfort zones.
  4. Offer Support, Not Solutions: When students or athletes are struggling, it’s natural to want to step in and help. But instead of providing the solution, offer support that helps them find the solution themselves. Ask guiding questions, provide hints, and encourage them to keep trying. This approach helps them develop problem-solving skills and builds confidence in their ability to overcome challenges.
  5. Celebrate the Struggle: Finally, celebrate the struggle itself. Recognize and reward the effort and perseverance that individuals show, regardless of the outcome. This reinforces the idea that the process of struggling is valuable and worth celebrating.

The Long-Term Benefits of Embracing Struggle

When we allow students and athletes to experience struggle time, we are helping them develop skills and qualities that will benefit them far beyond the classroom or the sports field. These include:

  • Resilience: The ability to bounce back from setbacks and keep going even when things are tough.
  • Critical Thinking: The ability to analyze problems, think creatively, and develop solutions.
  • Perseverance: The determination to keep working towards a goal, even in the face of challenges.
  • Self-Confidence: The belief in one’s own ability to overcome obstacles and achieve success.

These are the qualities that will help individuals succeed in all areas of life. Whether they are facing challenges in their careers, their personal lives, or in their communities, the skills and mindset developed through struggle time will serve them well.

Conclusion: The Power of Struggle

The video shared in the Facebook post is a powerful reminder of the value of struggle. It shows that when we give students and athletes the time and space to struggle, we are not setting them up for failure—we are setting them up for success. By embracing struggle time, we help them develop the skills, mindset, and character they need to thrive.

Here is another example from Coach Calipari (back when he coached at Kentucky)… check it out!

As a teacher and coach, it’s my job to guide my students and athletes through the challenges they face. But it’s also my job to let them struggle, to let them experience the frustration, the confusion, and the effort that are necessary for true growth. It’s not always easy, and it’s not always popular, but it’s one of the most important things I can do to help them become the best versions of themselves.

So, the next time you see a student or athlete struggling, resist the urge to step in and fix it for them. Instead, offer support, encouragement, and the time they need to work through the challenge. In doing so, you’ll be helping them develop into resilient, confident, and capable individuals who are ready to take on whatever life throws their way.

Winners vs. Whiners: The Path through Adversity

When it comes to Adversity, are you a winner or a whiner?

Success, as we’ve been taught, doesn’t come easy. There will be Adversity. But what separates the winners from the whiners? Is it talent, luck, or some magic formula? Or is it something deeper, something engrained in the core of their being?

Let’s tap into the wisdom of Coach Michael Burt, who often says, “Everybody needs a coach in life.” Burt’s philosophy emphasizes a “whole person theory,” aiming to tap into the body, mind, heart, and spirit of each player. But what does that have to do with our topic at hand? Well, the difference between winning and whining often boils down to your overall approach to life, encompassing all these facets.

Mindset: The Starting Line

Imagine this: The game is tied, seconds are ticking away, and you have the ball. At this moment, do you see an obstacle or an opportunity? Your mindset determines your actions.

As Burt articulates, “You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” Sometimes you need an external perspective to guide you, to sharpen your mindset. This is where a coach comes into play, to help you see the game from angles you can’t perceive when you’re in the heat of the moment.

Ask Yourself: How can I adjust my mindset to be more aligned with that of a winner, and who can help guide me in that transformation?

Overcoming Adversity:

The Chicago Bulls vs. The Detroit Pistons
In the late ’80s and early ’90s, the NBA witnessed one of the most bitter rivalries: the Chicago Bulls versus the Detroit Pistons, also known as the “Bad Boys.” The Pistons were known for their physicality, often pushing the rules to the limits. The Chicago Bulls, led by Michael Jordan, initially couldn’t get past this obstacle. They were stuck, they were frustrated, and they were defeated. But did they whine about it? No. They evolved.

The Bulls took their failures as a challenge. They bulked up, they practiced harder, and Michael Jordan even worked on a more physical style of play. The result? They not only defeated the Pistons but went on to dominate the NBA.

Michael Jordan said, “Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” This epitomizes the mindset of a winner.

Ask Yourself: What walls are you facing right now, and how can you overcome them instead of complaining?

Building Resilience in the Face of Adversity:
Body, Mind, Heart, and Spirit

This is where Coach Burt’s “whole person theory” becomes essential. To be resilient, to overcome, and to win, you need to be strong not just in body, but in mind, heart, and spirit.

  • Body: Physical preparation and conditioning.
  • Mind: Strategic and critical thinking.
  • Heart: Passion, drive, and motivation.
  • Spirit: Ethical grounding and a sense of purpose.

Michael Burt explains that the best competitors in the world have all these four components finely tuned. They aren’t just showing up on game day; they are preparing with a relentless focus on these four aspects.

Ask Yourself: Am I nurturing each of these areas in my life, or am I neglecting one over the others?

The Accountability Factor

Winners hold themselves accountable; whiners look for someone else to blame. If you’ve ever listened to a post-match interview of any great athlete, you’ll find them taking responsibility for their performance, good or bad.

“A good coach will make his players see what they can be rather than what they are,” Burt opines. Accountability starts with oneself but extends to the community around you—your team, your coach, your family, and your friends.

Ask Yourself: Who is holding me accountable, and more importantly, am I holding myself accountable? Am I taking Responsibility for my outcomes?

Final Word on Adversity?

The line between winning and whining is thinner than you think, but it’s a line that defines your character. It’s a line that speaks volumes about your preparation, your values, and ultimately, your success. So the next time you find yourself at a crossroads, caught between the urge to blame and the drive to overcome, remember: winners find a way; whiners find an excuse.

Ask Yourself: Which side of the line do you want to stand on?

Coach Wheeler, inspired by the philosophies of Coach Michael Burt, asks you to reflect, to challenge yourself, and to always strive for the winning side of life. Don’t let adversity get the better of you. Let it challenge you and reveal your best qualities. Because when you decide to be a winner, you’re not just affecting the score of the game; you’re defining your destiny.

Recommended Books for Further Reading on the topic of Adversity:


“Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck
A deep dive into the concept of “fixed” vs. “growth” mindsets, explaining why your outlook often determines your outcome.

“Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Duckworth
Learn why grit often predicts success more reliably than talent.

“Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable” by Tim S. Grover
Written by Michael Jordan’s personal trainer, this book explores the mentality of top performers in any field.

“The Score Takes Care of Itself: My Philosophy of Leadership” by Bill Walsh
A look into the coaching philosophy of Bill Walsh, one of the most successful coaches in NFL history.

“You Win in the Locker Room First: The 7 C’s to Build a Winning Team in Business, Sports, and Life” by Jon Gordon and Mike Smith
The book explains how to build a successful team by focusing on culture and character.

“The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph” by Ryan Holiday
A modern take on Stoic philosophy that teaches how to turn obstacles into opportunities.

“Everybody Needs a Coach in Life: Isn’t It Time You Found Yours?” by Michael Burt
A comprehensive view into Coach Michael Burt’s philosophies on coaching and personal development.

“Coaching for Performance: GROWing Human Potential and Purpose” by John Whitmore
A foundational text for understanding performance coaching.

The Franchise: Building a Winner With the World Champion Detroit Pistons, Basketballs Bad Boys by Cameron Stauth
For those interested in the historic rivalry mentioned in the article.

“Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t” by Simon Sinek
This book explores how great leaders can create a circle of safety that promotes trust and meaningful work.

Mental Toughness – Responsibility v. Blame

Who is to blame when a team loses? Who is at fault? Without seeing any part of the game I can tell you that both of those questions are less important than figuring out who is responsible. So, are you going to take responsibility? Should you?

Difference between Responsibility and Fault

Amazon link to The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark MansonI just finished reading a very interesting book titled, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson and he has a chapter about the difference between Responsibility and Fault. It is a concept that I have encountered before but it is something that is not always easy to remember … or build into your everyday life.

“The responsibility/fault fallacy allows people to pass off the responsibility for solving their problems to others.”
– Mark Manson

In sports, there is always someone to blame. The key, especially for the players and the coaches, is to recognize your own responsibility because until you accept responsibility it is nearly impossible to improve. When you don’t take responsibility, you are saying that there is nothing that you can do to change your current or future situations and that is simply not true.

This concept extends far beyond the field or the court. In relationships, careers, and personal development, understanding the difference between responsibility and fault is crucial. It’s easy to fall into the trap of blaming external circumstances or other people for our failures. However, embracing responsibility, even when a situation is not our fault, empowers us to take control of our reactions and our future.

Consider a business leader who faces a sudden market downturn. They could blame the economy, competitors, or myriad other factors outside their control. While these might not be their fault, the responsibility to adapt and guide the company through the storm remains squarely on their shoulders. Taking responsibility does not mean accepting blame for things out of one’s control; it means recognizing the power to respond, adapt, and grow.

In everyday life, we can practice recognizing the difference between fault and responsibility by reflecting on our reactions to challenges. Ask yourself, “Is this situation my fault? Maybe not. But what can I do to respond in a way that aligns with my goals and values?” By focusing on our ability to take charge rather than getting entangled in assigning fault, we free ourselves to learn, adapt, and thrive. It’s not just a path to personal growth; it’s a journey towards empowerment and a fulfilled life. In the words of Wayne Dyer, “All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, it will not change you.” Focus on what you can change—yourself.

Blame: The Trap of Victims

Blame shifts the focus from personal control to outside forces. It’s a way of relieving ourselves of the burden of personal responsibility but at the cost of losing control over our own lives. Blame can hinder growth, trapping us in a cycle of victimhood. When we engage in blame, we relinquish our power to change our situation, handing it over to circumstances or others.

However, blame is not inherently bad. In some situations, recognizing external factors can be part of the healing process. But lingering in blame can create a mindset where progress is stunted, and opportunities are missed. The difference lies in whether blame is used as a stepping stone to understanding or as a barrier to personal growth.

A Story of Redemption: Consider the example of Malala Yousafzai. After surviving an assassination attempt by the Taliban for advocating for girls’ education, she could have blamed her circumstances, her country, or the political climate. Instead, she took responsibility for her mission, turning her experience into a platform for global education advocacy. Rather than falling into victimhood, she used her circumstances to fuel a movement that changed the lives of millions of girls worldwide. Her story is a testament to the transformative power of responsibility over blame.

John C. Maxwell’s words ring true in Malala’s story and many others: “A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.” Blame might provide a temporary salve for our ego, but taking responsibility can turn a moment of weakness into a lifetime of strength and purpose.

Embracing responsibility over blame is a choice with profound implications. It’s not just a path to personal growth; it’s a journey towards empowerment, fulfillment, and true leadership. In the words of Viktor Frankl, a survivor of the Holocaust, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” How will you respond to that challenge today? The road to empowerment awaits.

No Decision is still a decision

Even if you do nothing, you are still making a decision. You have decided to do nothing and let the situation continue in whatever direction it might go. As we know, small problems grow into big problems, so doing nothing is rarely a good choice… but it is always your choice (even if you don’t believe it).

The paradox of inaction can be both comforting and alarming. On one hand, it emphasizes the control and autonomy you have in every situation. On the other, it reminds you that passivity is not a refuge but a choice with its consequences. This realization should not breed fear but inspire mindfulness in our decisions, whether active or passive.

In many ways, the decision to do nothing is a missed opportunity. It’s the road not taken, the chance not seized, the potential not realized. It can often be the product of fear, uncertainty, or a sense of inadequacy. But as author and motivational speaker Tony Robbins once said, “The only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment.” Imagine the possibilities that open up when you decide to take control and make deliberate choices.

Sometimes, the most potent action starts with the decision not to accept the status quo. If you find yourself inclined to do nothing, ask yourself: What is holding me back? What do I fear? What opportunities might I discover by choosing to act? Remember, every step forward begins with the decision to move, to change, to grow.

Consider a real-life example: Rosa Parks’ refusal to give up her seat on a bus was, in a sense, a decision to do nothing—to not comply with an unjust system. Yet that simple act of “doing nothing” became a catalyst for a movement that transformed a nation. Your choices, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, carry the potential to make waves.

No decision is void of consequence. The choices we make—or don’t make—shape our lives, our communities, and our world. Embrace the power and responsibility of choice. Whether to act or not to act is indeed a significant decision, one that requires courage, reflection, and wisdom. As you move forward, remember the words of Mahatma Gandhi: “The future depends on what you do today.” So what will you choose to do, or not do, today?

Even if you do nothing, you are still making a decision. You have decided to do nothing and let the situation continue in whatever direction it might go. As we know, small problems grow into big problems so doing nothing is rarely a good choice… but it is always your choice (even if you don’t believe it).

The Choice is yours.

SEEz Oppty: Turning Vision into Victory

Have you ever wondered why certain individuals can spot potential where others see nothing but challenges? These are the ones who seem to have a sixth sense for sniffing out opportunities. The secret isn’t a mystical power – it’s a skill, and one that’s grounded in our very own biology. Welcome to the world where we ‘SEEz Opportunities’.

Spotting Opportunities:
The Power of Your Brain

Seeing opportunities isn’t an exclusive gift only bestowed upon a lucky few. It’s a skill, akin to learning to play the guitar or mastering the art of public speaking. This skill, however, focuses on your perception, and altering the way you perceive the world around you. It’s about examining situations from multiple perspectives and unveiling hidden gems of potential.

This is where the brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) comes into play. The RAS is a bundle of nerves at our brainstem that filters out unnecessary information so the important stuff gets through. It’s the reason you hear your name across a noisy room, or why you spot a friend’s face in a crowded street. Your RAS takes what you focus on and creates a filter for it, sieving through the data and presenting only the pieces that are important to you. This means once you’ve set your goals and defined what opportunities you’re seeking, your RAS will work to highlight those opportunities when they arise.

But how do we develop the skill of seeing opportunities? It starts with setting a clear vision. First, identify the types of opportunities you are seeking. Is it a lucrative business deal? A chance to score in a sports match? A potential relationship? A unique travel experience? Just like setting a GPS before a journey, you need to define your destination before setting out to discover opportunities.

The Story of Airbnb

Take the story of Brian Chesky and Joe Gebbia, the founders of Airbnb. In 2007, during an industrial design conference in San Francisco, they noticed that hotels were fully booked. Seeing an opportunity, they decided to rent out their living space to those who couldn’t find accommodation. That idea evolved into Airbnb, a billion-dollar company. [For a more in-depth version of this story see our SEEz Opportunity Stories page.]

Once you’ve identified the type of opportunities you’re searching for, broaden your horizon and delve deep. Look at situations from different perspectives, ask ‘what if’ and dare to dream. The world is full of untapped possibilities waiting to be discovered.

Challenge Yourself:
A Different Lens for Perception

To truly develop this skill, challenge yourself to view your world through a new lens. Each experience, encounter, and event harbors potential opportunities. The key lies in priming your RAS to recognize these opportunities. If you’re an entrepreneur, train your RAS not just to see a product, but a solution to a problem, an enhancement to a process, or an entryway to a new market. If you’re an athlete, instruct your RAS to see beyond the game, towards mastering new techniques, fostering resilience, or uncovering a passion for mentorship.

Consider Howard Schultz, who, during a trip to Italy, was captivated by the country’s coffee culture. He didn’t just see a beverage – he saw an opportunity to bring this Italian experience back to America. This new perspective led him to transform Starbucks from a single coffee bean store into a global coffeehouse chain.

But recognizing an opportunity is merely the first step. Identifying potential is futile if you don’t take proactive measures to seize it.

Act Now: The Bridge to Success

It is action that distinguishes the dreamers from the doers. Transforming an opportunity from potential to reality requires action, often involving courage, dedication, and tenacity. It might mean stepping outside your comfort zone or accepting risks. However, as the adage goes, “Fortune favors the bold.”

A classic example is that of JK Rowling, the renowned author of the Harry Potter series. She saw an opportunity to create a unique magical world, but it was her actions – writing the story, persevering through numerous rejections from publishers – that transformed her vision into a reality, creating a billion-dollar franchise in the process. [For a more in-depth version of this story see our SEEz Opportunity Stories page.]

A simple framework to inspire action:

Chart the Next Step: Each opportunity demands a unique course of action. It might involve research, initiating a conversation, or jumping in headfirst. Regardless, identify the next logical step and take it.

Establish a Timeline: Specify a time frame for action. It could be immediate, within a week, or the next month. A timeline imparts urgency and curbs procrastination.

Assess and Adapt: Following your action, evaluate the outcome. Did it bring you closer to seizing the opportunity? If not, refine your approach and try again. Failure isn’t the enemy of success; it’s part of the journey.

The Art of Seizing Opportunities

Comprehending that seeing opportunities is a skill cultivated through intentional mental training, notably through harnessing your RAS, is transformative. Like any skill, it requires practice, patience, and resilience. However, the payoff is substantial. As you master the art of ‘Seez Opportunities’, you’ll start to perceive the world in a new light, spotting potential in previously overlooked corners and ready to seize these opportunities when they emerge.

Encourage a mindset of curiosity, stay receptive to new experiences, and challenge established norms. Armed with this approach, you’ll not only spot opportunities at every turn but also be primed to seize them, converting your visions into victories.

Mandatory Credit: Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

[For a more in-depth story demonstrating how Stephen Curry made the most of the opportunities he was given (and created many of his own opportunities), see our SEEz Opportunity Stories page.]

Remember, opportunities don’t just materialize out of thin air – they’re identified by those with the bravery to see beyond the surface and the commitment to act. So, equip yourself with the correct mindset, sharpen your perception, and get ready to ‘Seez Opportunities’ that will lead you to success. After all, it’s not merely about what you look at, but rather, what you see through the powerful lens of your RAS.

Book Review-12 Rules by Jordan Peterson

12 Rules for lifeJordan Peterson’s book, “12 Rules for Life, An Antidote for Chaos” has some good ideas but it is also heavy on Bible stories and quotes from philosophers and psychologists.

First question you probably have…

Are the 12 Rules worthwhile? Will they help you build a better life? Quick answer: Yes. They are worth reading but you might want to read through the summary below first to see if you are interested in reading more. Some of the chapters can get a little long winded (and go off on a few tangents) so you need to be motivated to stick with the book.

Let’s take a look at a brief summary of each rule…

Rule 1 – Stand up straight with your Rule shoulders back.

This is partly related to “Fake it until you make it.” It means that you should project confidence physically even if you might not be really “feeling it.” [Little secret that goes along with this… if you physically project confidence (or any other emotion really) you will start to move toward the actual feeling. Our emotions are tied to our physical “habits” so if you want to feel better (or more confident), move like you do when you feel that emotion… and the emotion will come.

Grade for Rule 1 … A+ (very worthwhile).

Rule 2 – Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.

Most people treat their pets better than than they treat themselves. They take them for regular checkups while forgetting to do the same thing for themselves. If you are a parent there are an endless number of ways that you sacrifice for your kids. This rule says that you should at least apply the same standards to yourself and while it makes sense, it may be difficult to change your habits when it comes to self-maintenance.

Grade for Rule 2 … B+. This should be common sense but more people need to recognize that they can give more by taking care of themselves instead of sacrificing for others.

Rule 3 – Make Friends with people who want the best for you.

If you have studied nearly anything in the area of “personal development”, you have probably heard the saying that “You are the average of the 5 people who you spend the most time with.” If you hang out with millionaires, the odds are better that you become one too. If you hang out with people who eat poorly and never exercise, what do you think the odds are that you will be overweight? Jordan Peterson takes a little different angle on this concept. He suggests that finding people who will hold you to a higher standard will help you become your best self and realize more of your potential, Good idea. Not especially original but definitely something to apply to your life.

Grade for Rule 3 … A. This is a good idea, just not especially original. You have probably heard something similar already.

Rule 4 – Compare Yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.

This Rule especially applies to athletes but it can be applied to nearly any endeavor (academics, business). What you might think is “talent” may just be the result of someone working on a particular skill for longer than someone else. This article about “The Talent Myth” talks more about this concept.

The key point is that we need to be careful who we compare ourselves to. Everyone has their own journey and often someone else is a currently at a different point in their journey. Use them as an example or learn from them if you want to achieve whatever it is that they have achieved. Seems simple, right? Only if you keep this rule in mind and don’t make yourself feel bad because you “aren’t there yet”!

Grade for Rule 4… A.  Important to remember. Learn from those ahead of you. Don’t feel bad because you aren’t there yet. Get to work!

Rule 5 – Don’t let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.

This rule applies mostly to parents but it could also be applied to managers within a company. Jordan Peterson includes many ideas for raising children as part of his 12 Rules and most of them are built around the idea of socializing kids so they can operate effectively in society. We live in a society and children need to learn what is expected. Making life easy for kids isn’t really doing them any favors in the long run. Another way of phrasing this rule… “Don’t raise a PIA.”

Grade for Rule 5 … B-. Good idea for parents but this rule doesn’t have as much application as the other rules.

Rule 6 – Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.

This is, by far, the best advice of the “12 Rules” book. Another way to say it is to “Tame your demons before tackling the world’s problems.” Jordan Peterson suggests that it is important to “Create Order in your life” where you can. [He talks a lot about “Order” and “Chaos” while drawing comparisons with Heaven and Hell.] The basic idea is that creating Order in your life (by taking control of what you can control) will give you the secure foundation you need to tackle the Chaos you will inevitably encounter.

Quick note… Chaos is not always bad. Creativity and Variety can come from Chaos. Order is not always good. Too much Order and you get boredom or limited growth. This may sound kind of Zen (Jordan explains the meaning of the Zen Circle and how it relates to Chaos/Order too.)

Grade for Rule 6 … A+  Best advice in the book. Do this first.

Rule 7 – Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient).

In other words… Shortcuts are not the answer. “Meaning” comes from “worthwhile challenges” and Jordan suggests that you should choose the challenges that will add meaning to your life. If you have been searching for the “Meaning of Life”, this might be as close to a good answer as you might find.

Grade for Rule 7 … A+. How can the “Meaning of Life” not get an A+? Is it easy to focus on doing something meaningful?…No. Is it worth it… you betcha.

Rule 8 – Tell the truth – or at least, don’t lie.

Truth is a tough subject. Jordan Peterson says Truth is order (and is also easier to remember than nearly any fiction you might conceive). Finding “Truth” also means confronting reality so tht you are not deceiving yourself (or others). The better we deal with reality, the better our results. Former CEO of GE, Jack Welch, has written a number of books and has said that the ability to discover reality and deal with it is one of the keys to the success he had when he ran General Electric.

Another way to state this rule would be to “Be a Pursuer and Purveyor of the Truth”. The only problem with the truth is that sometimes it isn’t “pleasant”. On the other hand, a little short term discomfort (like telling someone they need to improve something) is better than letting the problem grow. Rip that “Truth Bandaid” off quickly! [That’s my metaphor, not Jordan’s].

Grade for Rule 8 … A-  While this rule seems simple, it can be tough to implement. If it was phrased along the lines of “Deal with Reality” (instead of the Truth angle) it might have wider application… but still worth applying!

Rule 9 – Assume the person you are listening to might know something you don’t.

This rule kind of shows how Jordan Peterson is Canadian. Canadians are known for being “nice” (compared to Americans) and this rule is something that will improve the connections you develop through your conversations with other people.

Another way to say it… Learn from others. They have done things you haven’t.  If we focus on what we are going to say, we lose the chance to learn something.

Grade for Rule 9 … A.  If you want to get better, you need new ideas. The best way to get new ideas is from other people. Listen. You have two ears and one mouth. 2-1, Listening to Speaking is a good start!

Rule 10 – Be precise in your speech.

This is one of the rules that isn’t exactly self evident by itself. One part of “precise speech” is the “Avoid blanket statements.” Another is to “Recognize Opinions vs Facts.” Jordan Peterson points out that precise communication requires work. It requires an understanding of the pitfalls of language as well as an open mind. How precise is your language?

Grade for Rule 10 …  A.  This is an area we could all improve and Jordan Peterson is someone who is very precise with his language. [Check out this interview where he talks about the Gender Wage Gap.]

Rule 11 – Do not bother children when they are skateboarding.

This is another rule that applies for parents (or adults who teach or manage children).  Bottom line, according to Jordan Peterson, is that Children need challenges. This is how they explore the edges of their capabilities. They might get hurt. That’s part of the process… and part of the excitement.

Grade for Rule 11 … A.  We all need challenges if we are going to grow. Not everyone will want to be a skateboarder but there are plenty of challenges out there… for adults as well as kids.

Rule 12 – Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.

Another way of saying this (without the cat reference) is to “Engage with Opportunites to LIVE!” This is a good rule to end with because it is very easy to hide in our own little world and miss out on lots of the great parts of life, such as petting a cat (or dog). Don’t forget to connect with the outside world. There are lots of great things going on out there. When the opportunity comes around… ENGAGE!

Grade for Rule 12 … A+. Maybe this grade is higher than it needs to be… but I get to pat my dog every day and I highly recommend it for everyone!

Bottom Line – Is 12 Rules worth a read?

Jordan B. Peterson has clearly thought about life and “what works”. He has a strong grasp of the studies that explain the human condition. He offers wisdom that is generally accepted (and backed by research) within his field (psychology).

By reading the “12 Rules”, I learned a lot about the Bible and the psychology of success. There are plenty of interesting stories and examples … if you can wade through everything else. There are also many pop culture references (and ancient wisdom) that I navigated fairly successfully. On the other hand, some readers who did not grow up in the 60’s/70’s might not get the references. I am about the same age & educational level as Jordan Peterson so we start from a similar frame of reference.

If you found this review of the 12 Rules interesting, you may want to read the book. If you didn’t see anything that you want to dig into, you probably won’t like wading through all of Jordan Peterson’s stories and cultural references.  Professor Peterson tends to go off on tangents so the book is not as easy to read as it could have been. I also found that there were times when it seemed like he was trying to prove how smart he is. As a university professor, this might be second nature but I could probably edit the whole book down to less than 2000 words. [BTW- this post is less than 2000 words.]  Hopefully this post was helpful.

If you have already read the book, please leave a comment below to tell us what you thought about the 12 Rules!

How to Fix Sore Knees from Basketball

The video below by Alan Stein shows some exercises designed to help fix the common problem of sore knees for basketball players. Under the video is an overview of how your lower body works so you can better understand the mechanics.

First things First…

Coach Wheeler recommends the use of a good physical therapist whenever possible. If you have sore knees that don’t heal by themselves in a couple weeks, look into medical assistance. Physical Therapists, in particular, are trained to evaluate joints & muscles to identify imbalances or nagging injuries that might be causing your sore knees.

As you saw in the video, Coach Alan Stein talks about how important Ankle & Hip Mobility are to the health of your knees. His recommended drills include: (1) Ankle Mobility – Toes2Nose, (2) Hip Mobility – Lunge Stretch. He also mentions that (3) Rear side strengthening also helps keep your lower body mechanics. Alan Stein specifically recommends the one-leg “flyer” position and the hip bridge. Finally, Alan Stein recommends drills for improving the mechanics of your landing (soft, quiet & on balance) including the 2 foot side-to-side bounding, lateral cross-over and 1-2 forward/stop. All of these exercises can easily be incorporated into a practice plan or, at the very least, your warm-up process.

Lower Body Mechanics

Sore Knees - Lower body mechanics diagramThe lower body has 3 joints that absorb impact when you run and jump. The knee is more of a “hinge” joint while the ankle and hip have a larger range of motion… or at least they should. Restrictions in the mobility of your ankle and hip can show up as problems with your knee. That is why stretching out these joints while also keeping the related muscles balanced (equal strength on both sides of the joint) is critically important to the health of your knees.

Knee injuries can be prevented!

If you apply the exercises shown in these videos (above and below), you are reducing the chance of an unnecessary knee injury. If you play a collision sport (such as football), there is still a real possibility of your knee(s) taking a hit but that is “part of the game” (and is why Coach Wheeler likes basketball).

Other exercises to prevent or rehab sore knees?

The video below is by OverTimeAthletes and includes 4 ideas to help you improve your sore knees. The exercises presented in the video are:
(1) Passive Quad Stretch – using a foam roller, stretch out the quad. This is better than “active stretching” because it is easier on the knee.
(2) Glutes Strengthening to build a strong foundation for movement and protect your knees.
(3) Dorsiflexion Ankle Mobility to stretch out your ankle and associated muscles.
(4) Terminal Knee Extensions (TKE’s) – Use an elastic to “pre-hab” the muscles around the knee.

Bottom Line…

If you have sore knees and you continue to push yourself or mask the pain with pain pills, you are asking for trouble. It is better to build some of the exercises mentioned here into your warm-ups or “rest days” so that you can eliminate the problem. Don’t wait until you tear an ACL or something similar. If you have sore knees, that means you have already injured or over-used some part of your knee. Your knee is not at full strength and you won’t reach your full athletic potential without fixing the problem. As is mentioned in the video, seek medical help. These videos are useful but should not replace a qualified medical specialist.

Coach Wheeler’s Formula for Success

Coach Wheeler's Formula for SuccessThis article is a little different from the other ones on this blog. Different in a good way.  The topic of Success is probably more related to your career or life in general… and less “basketball specific”. I think you will find that  Coach Wheeler’s “Formula for Success” is in the vein of John Wooden’s “Pyramid of Success” that he taught his players at UCLA. If you want to “build a winning mindset”, you will definitely be interested in Coach Wheeler’s “Formula for Success”.

What kind of Formula for Success
are we talking about?

While Wheeler’s Formula for Success is primarily focused on business or career success, it can be applied in other ways. (I am hoping you will leave a comment after reading this article saying how you are going to apply the ideas in your life.) If you are looking for financial success, whether you have a job or a business, you will certainly find this “thinking framework” helpful.

Inspired by…

12 Rules for lifeThe top level concept, that your “volume & quality of work” determines your overall success, was inspired by Jordan B. Peterson. He is a clinical psychologist, tenured Professor at University of Toronto and, in general, a pretty smart guy from what I can tell. His knowledge of clinical psychology studies allows him to provide insights that many other “self-help” authors either miss or aren’t backing up with science. To paraphrase the success quote from him that inspired this article, “Success in life is predicted, primarily, by 2 traits: industriousness and intelligence.” (He also has a book out that is called “The 12 Rules for Life” which I have heard a lot about on podcasts so I am hoping to read it soon.)

First Layer of the Formula…

Coach Wheeler's Formula for SuccessThis probably won’t sound earth shattering but it should make immediate sense when you think about it. “The volume and quality of your work determines your [eventual] success in life.” Duh? Right?

If we stopped there, you probably would not get much out of this formula because that statement is common sense.  But if we go deeper, you should find more ideas that you can turn into actions which will lead you to more success in your chosen field.

Next Level…

As you can see in the diagram above, I am calling the “volume” side of the formula “Hard Work”. I think we can all agree that putting in more effort and time (the definition of “hard work”?), will result in more output and productivity. If you produce more, your results should (over time) lead to success.

What goes into “Hard Work”?

Hard Work - Formula for SuccessThe Formula for Success has 3 parameters under “Hard Work”. They are (1) Passion, (2) Health and (3) Consciences. Let’s look at each in more depth.

(HW-1) Passion. We all need motivation if we are going to put in the hard work that is needed for success. Developing the skills of self motivation will help you do the work that others (i.e. the competition) won’t. It will also help you go further than the competition as well. The reason it is such common wisdom to say “Live Your Passion” is because it is critical to enjoy the process of “work” … so you will do more than your competitors. Think about it this way, if you are motivated by a passion for your work… is it really HARD work? Probably not.  On the other hand, will you be passionate about everything you need to do? No, but we will talk about that in the third element of Hard Work, Consciences.

(HW-2) Health. This should be self-evident and common sense, but if you don’t maintain your health, you won’t be able to produce as much as possible. Letting your health decline will reduce your energy and may even “take you out of the game.” Aside from all the diet guru’s who are giving you weight management advice, Health is actually pretty simple. The three key elements of Health are a) Food, b) Sleep and c) Play.

I use the word “Play” (instead of exercise) on purpose. If you approach exercise as drudgery, you won’t enjoy it and I have heard that the effectiveness will actually decrease. Choose an exercise that you can, on some level, enjoy. It will energize your mind while building up your physical capacity at the same time.

Do we really need to discuss Diet & Sleep? 8 hours of sleep is a good goal but you can tell what works for you. If I could recommend one change to your diet, I would ask you to drink more water (instead of calorie-filled & chemical-filled drinks). We all know that green veggies are your friend… and they will impact your health & work output. Think about it like this… imagine you get a raise at work for every time you have a meal with green vegetables. [It doesn’t really work like that, but isn’t it a neat way to convince yourself to eat better?]

(HW-3) Consciences. This is related to self-discipline as well as self-identity. Are you the type of person who does what needs to be done? Especially WHEN it needs to be done? Author Jocko Willink has a good quote (and book by the same name), “Discipline = Freedom“. This is the one area that you can make the most immediate impact … if you pay attention to your thoughts and take control of your habitual ways of thinking.

Power of Habit by Charles DuhiggI’m not talking about willpower.  Willpower is  a limited resource and it can “go away” when you are tired at the end of a long day or you have a dip in your motivation. Be sure to build as much of your “need to do” activities into habits and routines that you don’t have to think about. A good book for learning how to do this is “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg.

One more thing about Hard Work…

Before we look at the other side of the formula (Smarts), I should explain one particular part of the Hard Work diagram. Did you notice the words “Goya”, “Goya”, “Goya” where the connector lines lead into the Hard Work bubble? This is taken from a motivational speech by inspirational keynote speaker Croix Sather. GOYA is an acronym for “Get Off Your Ass”. In terms of Coach Wheeler’s formula for success, GOYA is a reminder that you need to TAKE ACTION and not just think about what you should be doing. This is also a great transition into the “Smarts” portion of Coach Wheeler’s Formula for Success… as we keep in mind that thinking alone won’t get you what you want!

Let’s Get Smart!

Smarts-Formula for SuccessThe second major component of Success is “Smarts” or “general intelligence”. Coach Wheeler breaks this down into 3 parts, (1) Knowledge, (2) Social Skills and (3) Problem Solving. Going back to Jordan B. Peterson, he has said that the studies show intelligence, as measured by IQ, is incredibly difficult to improve. On the other hand, Knowledge can continually be accumulated and you can gather facts or ideas that you can use across a wide variety of situations. Coach Wheeler also added Social Skills to his model for success and we will discuss how to build and leverage them more below.

(S-1) Knowledge. As we go through life, we pick up information that we can then apply to solving problems in the future. This increases the value of our output and increases our chances for success. As you learned above, IQ is tough to change but we can “look smart” by simply learning “the tricks” for success in a given situation. There are typically two ways that we learn… independent learning and structured learning.

Independent learning is when we take the initiative and learn on our own. Examples include watching instructional YouTube video or reading books. There is an amazing amount of information out there and we probably have more access to information now than at any other time in history thanks to the internet and search engines. Smart people continue to learn.

Structured learning would include traditional schooling or perhaps one-on-one coaching. One of my favorite sayings about school is “Math = Money”. This means that learning math in school will help you handle money (and grow your wealth) when you get out into the “real world”. Depending on the quality of your teachers, it might be easy to get bored or “zone out” in school. Stay focused and keep asking yourself questions that help you stay engaged. “How will I use this in my life?” is a good one to start.

(S-2) Social Skills. There are many different types of “Smarts” and your ability to work with, and influence, other people is a major consideration when determining the quality of your work. We are not saying that you should try to make everyone happy. Sometimes you need to create conflict to get what you want or solve the problem that you are presented.

Toastmasters - Public Speaking and LeadershipAnother way to look at social skills is your ability to communicate effectively. On top of that, your leadership skills figure into your eventual success. How do you improve these things? Join Toastmasters. They are a world-wide non-profit organization dedicate to helping their members improve their public speaking and leadership skills. Find a chapter near you by visiting their website… Toastmasters International.

(S-3) Problem Solving.  This is typically correlated to the people’s “inherited” qualities of IQ and creativity. Even though much of your qualities may be genetic, there is still a skill that can be developed. If you want more ideas on how to improve your Problem Solving, here is the first article in our series on the topic. To learn when we publish more Problem Solving articles, be sure to sign up for our email notification service (in the right column on this page).

It is a fair statment to say that the quality of your work output is generally tied directly to your ability to solve problems. Brain Power (i.e. IQ) is good to have, especially when you are tackling more complex problems but everyone can learn how to solve problems. If you are motivated and work hard at accumulating the knowledge you need to solve problems in your area of expertise, you will be successful. This is where I tell you that all the parts of Coach Wheeler’s Formula for Success work together to make you successful.  But you probably already figured that out, right?

Bottom Line…

Will Coach Wheeler’s Formula For Success work for you? Like they say “The program will work… if you work the program.” I don’t think there is anything too “out there” in this formula. It should be easy to understand… but what are you going to do with it? Can you “up your game” when it comes to Hard Work? What do you need to improve on the “Smarts” side of the Formula for Success? If you don’t change what you do, how can you expect different results? The choice is up to you. You can use the formula… or you can “go with the flow” and take whatever life gives you. Which do you think will turn out the best for you?

Downloadable Bonus !

Coach Wheeler's Formula for SuccessCongratulations! You have made it all the way to the end of this article. You deserve a reward for your efforts. (Hopefully the article was interesting and not exactly “hard work”.) Your bonus for making it this far is a downloadable copy of Coach Wheeler’s Formula for Success diagram. You are welcome to share it on social media and, ideally provide a link back to this article. Right-Click on the link below and “Save As” to get the downloadable PDF version!
SuccessFormula-download-CoachWheeler

 

The Problem with Problems – Why Problem Solving doesn’t work.

We all have problems. Problem Solving Series by Coach WheelerEveryone has problems. If you are alive, you have problems. They might be big, life-changing problems like a diagnosis of cancer or they could be minor inconveniences like a fly buzzing in your ear. That’s not why problem solving tactics don’t work. Problem solving is easier than you think, but I am getting ahead of myself.

The real problem with problems (and the way most people approach problem solving) is three-fold… and, as you will see, they are inter-related.

(1) Denial River. First, we are too often simply in denial of the problem. “I don’t have any problems” … as you buy the next bigger size of pants to fit your expanding midsection.

(2) Comfortable known vs Uncomfortable unknown. The problems we know are easier to accept compared to the great unknown that might exist if we tried to solve the problem. We get comfortable being sort of uncomfortable… we tell ourselves “it could be worse”. We don’t want to push through additional “discomfort”… so our “comfort zone” becomes a prison. A prison that we hold the key to unlock.

(3) Other people have problems. This is related to the denial we have about problems but it goes one step further. “I don’t have a problem. OTHER People have problems, but I don’t.” It is much easier to recognize other people’s problem than our own. We may be too close to them, in denial or just don’t want to face the work that would be required to fix them. It is so much easier to point out other people’s problems. The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence… but that’s just because that’s where your neighbor’s septic tank is leaking!

So, why am I writing a series about Problem Solving?

Especially when it is clear that most people won’t care enough to read it, much less apply the ideas to solve their problems?

I guess part of it is my own fascination with the topic. I see problem solving as a sort of puzzle. What follows are the tricks I’ve learned over the years to solve these puzzles.

Do I have problems?

Of course I do. As many, or maybe more, than most of you. My commitment, as part of writing this series of articles, is to use my own problems as examples that you might learn from. Ideally, I will solve some of my own problems in the process of thinking through all the steps I will be presenting. At least that is my hope.

The Process of Problem Solving

I have broken the process of Problem Solving into a series of skills or activities. They can tackle everything from the largest, most complex corporate problem at work to the daily nit-picking problems you have at home. As I add articles to the series, I will list them here and provide links. So depending on when you find this article, you may have additional links below. If there are no links or the series is not complete, sign up for our email notification service. Signup box is in the right column on every page of this blog. It is a simple two step process requiring a confirmation email.

Best Problem Solving process… Guaranteed.

My guarantee to you is that if you go through the whole problem solving process, you will find a solution. If you don’t, I will personally work with you. If we can’t solve your problem I will admit that I was beaten by your problem. Then we can see if my readers might offer suggestions that we missed. Got questions? Send Coach Wheeler an email via our Contact page.

 

The GRIND – Summer Basketball Edition

Time 2 GRINDSummer is when you can make huge improvements as a basketball player… especially if you grind. GRINDing is all about putting in the effort to get better.

Do you GRIND?

The GRIND is about overcoming obstacles. It is about staying motivated to execute your training plan. It is having a training plan in the first place. It is about the attitude that says “Nothing will stop me” and “I will do whatever needs to be done to achieve my goal(s)”.

Bottom line… if you are not part of TEAM GRIND, you will certainly lose to players who are out there grinding every day this summer.

How to start GRINDing

You might say to yourself… “I really like to be comfortable and kick back but I also want to accomplish great things so how do I become a grinder?” You probably recognize how important it is to put in the hours if you want to improve, but, honestly, there are some days when you REALLY don’t feel like it. What do I do?

(1) Imagine yourself as a GRINDER

Your self image determines the actions you will take and which ones you won’t. If you want to put in the effort, you need to see yourself as someone who GRINDS!

How do you change your self image? Here are some ideas…

GET THE T-Shirt. If you are wearing a t-shirt that proclaims you as someone who GRINDS, then people around you will see the shirt and expect you to put in the effort. Other people’s expectations (along with your own) can shape your self image so that you are more likely to build the characteristics of a GRINDER into your picture of who you are.

Use Your Words. The words we use when we talk to other people are important because they set the expectations other people then place on us. We need to be sure that we don’t put ourselves down by saying things like “I can’t GRIND like he can.”

These words, spoken to other people, are important but even more important are the words we use when we “talk to ourselves”. If you say the same statement to yourself, your subconscious mind accepts it as the truth and programs your self image to represent that “truth”. In other words, we hold ourselves back (or get better) by the words we use. Our subconscious mind and our self image (more about these in my article about Mental Management here), don’t care as much about what is “true” as much as what you believe is true, or what could be true.

What if we changed the statement to “I am not at the level of GRIND that he is YET but I am working on it.” Doesn’t that feel different? If you say it enough, you will begin to believe it. More about Affirmations here.

(2)  Make A Plan

If you lay out all the small steps that go into your long term plan for improvement, each one will be smaller and more likely to be accomplished. The truth is that the GRIND is about taking the one small step that is right in front of you. That’s the only thing you need to do. One step in front of the other. That’s how you run a marathon or become a lights-out shooter.

In addition, your plan will include milestones where you can start to see your progress. An example might be the first time you run a 5K (3.1 miles) without stopping to walk. Or it could be the first time you make 50% of your shots in a drill. Or 75%. Or 100%. You might not notice an improvement from one day to the next… but over a month or two, you will be able to look back on where you started and see how far you have come.

Your plan should also have a BHAG or Big Hairy Audacious Goal that is so BIG (and Hairy, whatever that means to you) that it will push you beyond your perceived limits. Want to dunk a basketball on the first day of tryouts next season? The time to GRIND is NOW! Do the workouts all Summer. Find new workouts to improve your vertical leap by searching YouTube.

(3) Partner up

If you can find someone with similar goals, you can help each other put in the work. There will be times when you won’t want to workout, but you can’t let down your team mate. This added accountability means that you will be less likely to miss a workout… and you will do the same for your team mate.

Don’t Let Me Down. Another way to boost your accountability is to announce your goals publicly. If your friends and team mates are anything like mine, they will constantly ask you how your plan to GRIND is coming… and maybe tease you a little bit if you don’t measure up. Go ahead and put your goals on Facebook. Or make an Instagram video explaining what you are going to do this summer.

Want to take it one step further?

Post a link to your Facebook “Declaration of GRIND” or Instagram video in the comment section below. Our readers (and Coach Wheeler) will definitely follow up to see how you are doing!

Summer will be over before you know it. Either you will get better or you will stay the same (which means you get worse compared to the competition who got better). Take control of your destiny and make a plan… and commit to the GRIND!

Will it be easy? Probably not.Will it be worth it? Definitely. Will you have to give up all the fun that happens in the Summer? Not necessarily. You can still go to the beach… and may go for a run before taking a dip in the cool water. You can still have fun while you GRIND. In fact, that is probably the best way to GRIND. Make it fun, involve others and at the end of the Summer you will be amazed by all the great experiences you have had as well as the improvements that will take your game to a whole new level for next season. Start the GRIND… now!

Mental Toughness – Value of Problems – Part II

If you have not seen my previous Mental Toughness post: “Challenges & Problems”, check it out by clicking here.  Now let’s learn how to think differently so you can solve your problems and avoid some problems altogether.

Let’s understand Problems

Mark Manson points out in his book, that our personal values and the standards we set for ourselves “determine the nature of our problems and the nature of our problems determines the quality of our life.” In other words, good problems = good life (and the opposite).  Add to this the fact that we get (in terms of problems & results) what we accept based on the standards we set for ourselves and those around us.

Control the meaning of your problems…

Mark goes on to say, “Problems may be inevitable but their meaning is not. We get to control what our problems mean based on how we choose to think about them [and] the standard by which we choose to measure them.”

One man’s problem is another man’s dream.

Going back to our rich and poor example. The rich person might lose a million dollars in a day… but it is such a small part of their overall wealth that it means nothing. The poor person might misplace a dollar bill and it means everything to them because it is all that they have.

Problems have meaning and the good news is
that we get to choose that meaning.

What if the rich person chose to think that losing a million dollars was not a simple fluctuating in the stock market and was the start of financial ruin? The meaning of the loss could be ominous or inconsequential. Which one is right? Neither. Or maybe both. The point is that we CHOOSE what things mean for ourselves and very often it has more to do with our habitual thinking than the “reality” of the situation.

5 Counter-intuitive ways of thinking

Mark Manson offers 5 new “ways of thinking” which can help you become better at solving your problems and recognizing opportunities for personal growth. The 5 Ways or “New Value”are…

  1. Radical Responsibility
  2. Empower Uncertainty
  3. Embrace Failure
  4. Leverage Rejections
  5. Gain Perspective of Mortality

Radical Responsibility means taking responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life. It doesn’t mean that everything is your fault… just that you have the ability to respond to anything in your life. Everyone will encounter problems that are not their fault, but it is HOW you RESPOND that determines the quality of your life. What most people miss is the idea that we have much more control over our lives than we imagine. Unfortunately, most people just “go along” with whatever is expected and, as a result, they get mediocre (or worse) results. Bottom Line… Take Responsibility for your life. That’s a radical idea isn’t it?

Uncertainty is another opportunity for personal growth. If you already know all the answers, you won’t be searching for new ideas or new answers. If you adopt an uncertain approach, you are open to opportunities you would have missed. We should also keep in mind that there are things we don’t even know that we don’t know. Open the door to uncertainty.

Embrace Failure. We are all going to fail at one time or another. We can let it eat us up or we can see it as what it really is… a learning opportunity. Failure highlights our “blind spots” in ways that we rarely seek out. Think of failure as a gift… but don’t quit.

This might sound good, but what if you can’t even think of a potential plan of attack? What if the prospect of a HUGE failure is intimidating and you still don’t know where to start? What if it seems like you have already failed… before you are even “in the game”?

Lower the bar for failure… Do Something

Mark Manson explains a great way to lessen the anxiety associated with potential failure through the “Do Something” rule that he learned from one of his teachers. “If you are stuck on a problem, don’t sit there and think about it; Just start working on it. Even if you don’t know what you are doing, the simple act of working on it will eventually cause the right ideas to show up in your head.”

“Don’t just sit there.
Do Something.
The answers will follow.”

Mark adds, “Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it.” Once you take action, you often find that the small successes provide motivation while the small failures provide ideas that point you into a productive direction. “If we follow the ‘Do Something’ principle, failure feels unimportant.”

So, start failing. Start small. Do Something. Do anything. As Nike says, “Just Do It.”

Leverage Rejection. Manson says, “We are defined by what we choose to reject.” For example, if we value something, we must reject what is not that something. To value X, we must reject non-X. What we reject defines our identity. If we don’t reject something we don’t stand for anything. Decide what you stand for. It will make your decisions clearer and keep your life aligned with your important values.

Gain Perspective from Mortality. We could all be hit by a bus tomorrow… but we rarely think about how short our life could be. In the timeline of the cosmos, we are a flash in the pan, a brief flicker in history so how much does it matter that someone cuts you off in traffic? Stoic philosophers would advocate to think about death at all times so we would appreciate our life more.  Mark Twain once wrote, “The fear of death follows the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

Your own mortality is the ultimate “Big Picture” view and it helps put everything into perspective. Don’t deny your mortality… use it !

Which Problem is worth a F&ck?

Bottom line, you get to choose how you respond to the problems in your life, how you solve problems and even which problem you choose to tackle. Problems are a blessing and each new one gives us an opportunity to grow. What do you give a f*ck about?