Obstacles Archives - Building a Winning Mindset

Winners vs. Whiners: The Path through Adversity

When it comes to Adversity, are you a winner or a whiner?

Success, as we’ve been taught, doesn’t come easy. There will be Adversity. But what separates the winners from the whiners? Is it talent, luck, or some magic formula? Or is it something deeper, something engrained in the core of their being?

Let’s tap into the wisdom of Coach Michael Burt, who often says, “Everybody needs a coach in life.” Burt’s philosophy emphasizes a “whole person theory,” aiming to tap into the body, mind, heart, and spirit of each player. But what does that have to do with our topic at hand? Well, the difference between winning and whining often boils down to your overall approach to life, encompassing all these facets.

Mindset: The Starting Line

Imagine this: The game is tied, seconds are ticking away, and you have the ball. At this moment, do you see an obstacle or an opportunity? Your mindset determines your actions.

As Burt articulates, “You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” Sometimes you need an external perspective to guide you, to sharpen your mindset. This is where a coach comes into play, to help you see the game from angles you can’t perceive when you’re in the heat of the moment.

Ask Yourself: How can I adjust my mindset to be more aligned with that of a winner, and who can help guide me in that transformation?

Overcoming Adversity:

The Chicago Bulls vs. The Detroit Pistons
In the late ’80s and early ’90s, the NBA witnessed one of the most bitter rivalries: the Chicago Bulls versus the Detroit Pistons, also known as the “Bad Boys.” The Pistons were known for their physicality, often pushing the rules to the limits. The Chicago Bulls, led by Michael Jordan, initially couldn’t get past this obstacle. They were stuck, they were frustrated, and they were defeated. But did they whine about it? No. They evolved.

The Bulls took their failures as a challenge. They bulked up, they practiced harder, and Michael Jordan even worked on a more physical style of play. The result? They not only defeated the Pistons but went on to dominate the NBA.

Michael Jordan said, “Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” This epitomizes the mindset of a winner.

Ask Yourself: What walls are you facing right now, and how can you overcome them instead of complaining?

Building Resilience in the Face of Adversity:
Body, Mind, Heart, and Spirit

This is where Coach Burt’s “whole person theory” becomes essential. To be resilient, to overcome, and to win, you need to be strong not just in body, but in mind, heart, and spirit.

Body: Physical preparation and conditioning.
Mind: Strategic and critical thinking.
Heart: Passion, drive, and motivation.
Spirit: Ethical grounding and a sense of purpose.

Michael Burt explains that the best competitors in the world have all these four components finely tuned. They aren’t just showing up on game day; they are preparing with a relentless focus on these four aspects.

Ask Yourself: Am I nurturing each of these areas in my life, or am I neglecting one over the others?

The Accountability Factor

Winners hold themselves accountable; whiners look for someone else to blame. If you’ve ever listened to a post-match interview of any great athlete, you’ll find them taking responsibility for their performance, good or bad.

“A good coach will make his players see what they can be rather than what they are,” Burt opines. Accountability starts with oneself but extends to the community around you—your team, your coach, your family, and your friends.

Ask Yourself: Who is holding me accountable, and more importantly, am I holding myself accountable? Am I taking Responsibility for my outcomes?

Final Word on Adversity?

The line between winning and whining is thinner than you think, but it’s a line that defines your character. It’s a line that speaks volumes about your preparation, your values, and ultimately, your success. So the next time you find yourself at a crossroads, caught between the urge to blame and the drive to overcome, remember: winners find a way; whiners find an excuse.

Ask Yourself: Which side of the line do you want to stand on?

Coach Wheeler, inspired by the philosophies of Coach Michael Burt, asks you to reflect, to challenge yourself, and to always strive for the winning side of life. Don’t let adversity get the better of you. Let it challenge you and reveal your best qualities. Because when you decide to be a winner, you’re not just affecting the score of the game; you’re defining your destiny.

Recommended Books for Further Reading on the topic of Adversity:

“Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck
A deep dive into the concept of “fixed” vs. “growth” mindsets, explaining why your outlook often determines your outcome.

“Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Duckworth
Learn why grit often predicts success more reliably than talent.

“Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable” by Tim S. Grover
Written by Michael Jordan’s personal trainer, this book explores the mentality of top performers in any field.

“The Score Takes Care of Itself: My Philosophy of Leadership” by Bill Walsh
A look into the coaching philosophy of Bill Walsh, one of the most successful coaches in NFL history.

“You Win in the Locker Room First: The 7 C’s to Build a Winning Team in Business, Sports, and Life” by Jon Gordon and Mike Smith
The book explains how to build a successful team by focusing on culture and character.

“The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph” by Ryan Holiday
A modern take on Stoic philosophy that teaches how to turn obstacles into opportunities.

“Everybody Needs a Coach in Life: Isn’t It Time You Found Yours?” by Michael Burt
A comprehensive view into Coach Michael Burt’s philosophies on coaching and personal development.

“Coaching for Performance: GROWing Human Potential and Purpose” by John Whitmore
A foundational text for understanding performance coaching.

The Franchise: Building a Winner With the World Champion Detroit Pistons, Basketballs Bad Boys by Cameron Stauth
For those interested in the historic rivalry mentioned in the article.

“Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t” by Simon Sinek
This book explores how great leaders can create a circle of safety that promotes trust and meaningful work.

Mental Toughness – Responsibility v. Blame

Who is to blame when a team loses? Who is at fault? Without seeing any part of the game I can tell you that both of those questions are less important than figuring out who is responsible. So, are you going to take responsibility? Should you?

Difference between Responsibility and Fault

I just finished reading a very interesting book titled, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson and he has a chapter about the difference between Responsibility and Fault. It is a concept that I have encountered before but it is something that is not always easy to remember … or build into your everyday life.

“The responsibility/fault fallacy allows people to pass off the responsibility for solving their problems to others.”
– Mark Manson

In sports, there is always someone to blame. The key, especially for the players and the coaches, is to recognize your own responsibility because until you accept responsibility it is nearly impossible to improve. When you don’t take responsibility, you are saying that there is nothing that you can do to change your current or future situations and that is simply not true.

This concept extends far beyond the field or the court. In relationships, careers, and personal development, understanding the difference between responsibility and fault is crucial. It’s easy to fall into the trap of blaming external circumstances or other people for our failures. However, embracing responsibility, even when a situation is not our fault, empowers us to take control of our reactions and our future.

Consider a business leader who faces a sudden market downturn. They could blame the economy, competitors, or myriad other factors outside their control. While these might not be their fault, the responsibility to adapt and guide the company through the storm remains squarely on their shoulders. Taking responsibility does not mean accepting blame for things out of one’s control; it means recognizing the power to respond, adapt, and grow.

In everyday life, we can practice recognizing the difference between fault and responsibility by reflecting on our reactions to challenges. Ask yourself, “Is this situation my fault? Maybe not. But what can I do to respond in a way that aligns with my goals and values?” By focusing on our ability to take charge rather than getting entangled in assigning fault, we free ourselves to learn, adapt, and thrive. It’s not just a path to personal growth; it’s a journey towards empowerment and a fulfilled life. In the words of Wayne Dyer, “All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, it will not change you.” Focus on what you can change—yourself.

Blame: The Trap of Victims

Blame shifts the focus from personal control to outside forces. It’s a way of relieving ourselves of the burden of personal responsibility but at the cost of losing control over our own lives. Blame can hinder growth, trapping us in a cycle of victimhood. When we engage in blame, we relinquish our power to change our situation, handing it over to circumstances or others.

However, blame is not inherently bad. In some situations, recognizing external factors can be part of the healing process. But lingering in blame can create a mindset where progress is stunted, and opportunities are missed. The difference lies in whether blame is used as a stepping stone to understanding or as a barrier to personal growth.

A Story of Redemption: Consider the example of Malala Yousafzai. After surviving an assassination attempt by the Taliban for advocating for girls’ education, she could have blamed her circumstances, her country, or the political climate. Instead, she took responsibility for her mission, turning her experience into a platform for global education advocacy. Rather than falling into victimhood, she used her circumstances to fuel a movement that changed the lives of millions of girls worldwide. Her story is a testament to the transformative power of responsibility over blame.

John C. Maxwell’s words ring true in Malala’s story and many others: “A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.” Blame might provide a temporary salve for our ego, but taking responsibility can turn a moment of weakness into a lifetime of strength and purpose.

Embracing responsibility over blame is a choice with profound implications. It’s not just a path to personal growth; it’s a journey towards empowerment, fulfillment, and true leadership. In the words of Viktor Frankl, a survivor of the Holocaust, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” How will you respond to that challenge today? The road to empowerment awaits.

No Decision is still a decision

Even if you do nothing, you are still making a decision. You have decided to do nothing and let the situation continue in whatever direction it might go. As we know, small problems grow into big problems, so doing nothing is rarely a good choice… but it is always your choice (even if you don’t believe it).

The paradox of inaction can be both comforting and alarming. On one hand, it emphasizes the control and autonomy you have in every situation. On the other, it reminds you that passivity is not a refuge but a choice with its consequences. This realization should not breed fear but inspire mindfulness in our decisions, whether active or passive.

In many ways, the decision to do nothing is a missed opportunity. It’s the road not taken, the chance not seized, the potential not realized. It can often be the product of fear, uncertainty, or a sense of inadequacy. But as author and motivational speaker Tony Robbins once said, “The only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment.” Imagine the possibilities that open up when you decide to take control and make deliberate choices.

Sometimes, the most potent action starts with the decision not to accept the status quo. If you find yourself inclined to do nothing, ask yourself: What is holding me back? What do I fear? What opportunities might I discover by choosing to act? Remember, every step forward begins with the decision to move, to change, to grow.

Consider a real-life example: Rosa Parks’ refusal to give up her seat on a bus was, in a sense, a decision to do nothing—to not comply with an unjust system. Yet that simple act of “doing nothing” became a catalyst for a movement that transformed a nation. Your choices, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, carry the potential to make waves.

No decision is void of consequence. The choices we make—or don’t make—shape our lives, our communities, and our world. Embrace the power and responsibility of choice. Whether to act or not to act is indeed a significant decision, one that requires courage, reflection, and wisdom. As you move forward, remember the words of Mahatma Gandhi: “The future depends on what you do today.” So what will you choose to do, or not do, today?

Even if you do nothing, you are still making a decision. You have decided to do nothing and let the situation continue in whatever direction it might go. As we know, small problems grow into big problems so doing nothing is rarely a good choice… but it is always your choice (even if you don’t believe it).

The Choice is yours.

The GRIND – Summer Basketball Edition

Time 2 GRIND Summer is when you can make huge improvements as a basketball player… especially if you grind. GRINDing is all about putting in the effort to get better.

Do you GRIND?

The GRIND is about overcoming obstacles. It is about staying motivated to execute your training plan. It is having a training plan in the first place. It is about the attitude that says “Nothing will stop me” and “I will do whatever needs to be done to achieve my goal(s)”.

Bottom line… if you are not part of TEAM GRIND, you will certainly lose to players who are out there grinding every day this summer.

How to start GRINDing

You might say to yourself… “I really like to be comfortable and kick back but I also want to accomplish great things so how do I become a grinder?” You probably recognize how important it is to put in the hours if you want to improve, but, honestly, there are some days when you REALLY don’t feel like it. What do I do?

(1) Imagine yourself as a GRINDER

Your self image determines the actions you will take and which ones you won’t. If you want to put in the effort, you need to see yourself as someone who GRINDS!

How do you change your self image? Here are some ideas…

GET THE T-Shirt. If you are wearing a t-shirt that proclaims you as someone who GRINDS, then people around you will see the shirt and expect you to put in the effort. Other people’s expectations (along with your own) can shape your self image so that you are more likely to build the characteristics of a GRINDER into your picture of who you are.

Use Your Words. The words we use when we talk to other people are important because they set the expectations other people then place on us. We need to be sure that we don’t put ourselves down by saying things like “I can’t GRIND like he can.”

These words, spoken to other people, are important but even more important are the words we use when we “talk to ourselves”. If you say the same statement to yourself, your subconscious mind accepts it as the truth and programs your self image to represent that “truth”. In other words, we hold ourselves back (or get better) by the words we use. Our subconscious mind and our self image (more about these in my article about Mental Management here), don’t care as much about what is “true” as much as what you believe is true, or what could be true.

What if we changed the statement to “I am not at the level of GRIND that he is YET but I am working on it.” Doesn’t that feel different? If you say it enough, you will begin to believe it. More about Affirmations here.

(2) Make A Plan

If you lay out all the small steps that go into your long term plan for improvement, each one will be smaller and more likely to be accomplished. The truth is that the GRIND is about taking the one small step that is right in front of you. That’s the only thing you need to do. One step in front of the other. That’s how you run a marathon or become a lights-out shooter.

In addition, your plan will include milestones where you can start to see your progress. An example might be the first time you run a 5K (3.1 miles) without stopping to walk. Or it could be the first time you make 50% of your shots in a drill. Or 75%. Or 100%. You might not notice an improvement from one day to the next… but over a month or two, you will be able to look back on where you started and see how far you have come.

Your plan should also have a BHAG or Big Hairy Audacious Goal that is so BIG (and Hairy, whatever that means to you) that it will push you beyond your perceived limits. Want to dunk a basketball on the first day of tryouts next season? The time to GRIND is NOW! Do the workouts all Summer. Find new workouts to improve your vertical leap by searching YouTube.

(3) Partner up

If you can find someone with similar goals, you can help each other put in the work. There will be times when you won’t want to workout, but you can’t let down your team mate. This added accountability means that you will be less likely to miss a workout… and you will do the same for your team mate.

Don’t Let Me Down. Another way to boost your accountability is to announce your goals publicly. If your friends and team mates are anything like mine, they will constantly ask you how your plan to GRIND is coming… and maybe tease you a little bit if you don’t measure up. Go ahead and put your goals on Facebook. Or make an Instagram video explaining what you are going to do this summer.

Want to take it one step further?

Post a link to your Facebook “Declaration of GRIND” or Instagram video in the comment section below. Our readers (and Coach Wheeler) will definitely follow up to see how you are doing!

Summer will be over before you know it. Either you will get better or you will stay the same (which means you get worse compared to the competition who got better). Take control of your destiny and make a plan… and commit to the GRIND!

Will it be easy? Probably not.Will it be worth it? Definitely. Will you have to give up all the fun that happens in the Summer? Not necessarily. You can still go to the beach… and may go for a run before taking a dip in the cool water. You can still have fun while you GRIND. In fact, that is probably the best way to GRIND. Make it fun, involve others and at the end of the Summer you will be amazed by all the great experiences you have had as well as the improvements that will take your game to a whole new level for next season. Start the GRIND… now!

Do you want to win all the time?

If you follow women’s college basketball, you know that the UConn women’s basketball team seem to “win all the time”. . . until they lost in overtime in the NCAA semi-final game (in a way that was almost identical to what happened last year). During the season, it seemed like they could not be beaten. Now they have a new challenge which, unfortunately, seniors Kia Nurse and Gabby Williams won’t be around to help the team address.

Winning all the time…
is that what we really want?

Below is an excerpt that talks about “winning all the time”. It is from the last chapter in With Winning in Mind by Olympic Gold medalist Lanny Bassham …

Do you want to win? Do you want to win all of the time? Really? What if you did? What if every attempt was successful and nothing ever went wrong? What if it became way too easy to do? How long would it take for you to tire of it? Winning is special because it is so difficult to do. We tend to value things in direct proportion to the price we pay for them. We do not learn very much standing on the top of the summit. All of the becoming happens on the way up the mountain. I hope you are having a lot of challenges along your journey of a dream. Resistance makes you stronger. If you are not having problems your goals are too low.

My hat is off to the UConn women’s basketball team for a great season … even if they did not make it to the championship game this year. With the loss fresh in their minds, it is hard to remember that we WANT to be challenged. If no one stepped up to give us a challenge, the value of winning would be diminished.

I look forward to next season and expect the UConn Women’s Basketball (WBB) team to win many more games. I also expect that Geno Auriemma and his coaching staff won’t be satisfied with anything less than a championship. The bar is high at UConn… and that’s why the players signed up to be UConn Huskies! They work hard to win all the time … and they will certainly learn from this loss so they can improve next year!

Why we will win

As I interviewed for various high school varsity coaching positions, I could see that some of the people on the selection committees seemed to be wondering “Why does he think he can take our school’s basketball program, which may have had only a handful of wins last season and establish a winning tradition?”
..
This post is in response to those skeptics that did not hire me… and, by choosing someone else, they gave me the opportunity to find a varsity coaching position that is an even better fit. (More on that in a future post.)

.. Is Winning Worth It?

If you are hiring a new coach, you might be wondering if winning is even a worthwhile goal. Isn’t it good enough to just field a team? My answer is NO and I have explained why winning is important in a previous post in case you on the fence.
..

Why build a winning basketball program

First, let me say that a certain amount of my motivation for building a winning program is selfish. I like to win and I like to see how my players grow as part of the preparation process that results in those wins.

I know that some of you have already tuned out. You heard “selfish” and decided that I am some kind of ego maniac who just wants to show how smart he is by winning basketball games.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

“I believe winning is a byproduct of preparation and mindset.” – Coach Dave Wheeler

I believe that young people should have the opportunity to LEARN HOW TO WIN, whether it is on a court, a field or in the classroom. Am I saying everyone should win? NO. Winning doesn’t work that way. The sooner we discover that we need to earn our wins, the sooner we will start doing the things it takes to win.

Are you ready to win?

At the core of my approach to basketball is a winning mindset that has 3 key tenets or beliefs.

“We Never Quit”
Babe Ruth said, “It is hard to beat an opponent that never quits.”
..
Have I ever quit? Sure. I did 2/3 of a Half Ironman Race (swim, bike, run) in 90+ degree heat and had to drop out before the half marathon run portion. Does that mean I have quit on the idea of completing a full Ironman Triathlon? NO. It will happen and I continue to train.
..
Motivational speaker Les Brown says, “The game is not over until I win.” This works well in life but you are probably thinking that basketball is a little different. There is a scoreboard and a clock. The rules say that whichever team has the most points on the scoreboard when the clock runs out is the winner of the game. So if you are on the losing end of the score does that mean you can’t win?
..
The key is to have a bigger goal that defines “winning” for you and never quit until you win. The odds are that we probably won’t go undefeated this season but we can certainly beat more teams than we did last year. Can we get into the playoffs? With a shot at winning the whole thing? I like to aim high and work towards aggressive goals. That, plus a relentless drive to get better, is part of a winning mindset… and what I teach.
..
“We control our minds” is the second key tenet or belief of a winning mindset. This is a little more complicated than “Never Quit” and it involves learning many new ideas that might be less commonly known.
..
The biggest take-away is how to control your mind so that you do not let your circumstances dictate your responses. We control how we approach the game. We control whether or not we let the bad calls made by referees (and we know that there will be more than one) control whether we get mad. We control what the events in our life mean to us and then use that control to react in the way(s) that get us the best results.
..
One example of how we control our minds is the first lesson I always teach the first week of practice: The difference between Pain and Suffering:
..
Pain is a physical sensation in your body. It is often a useful indicator that you are pushing your body to do more than it is used to doing, especially the first week of practice when we start the conditioning process.
..
Suffering, on the other hand, is optional. Suffering is a choice. Suffering is based on how we interpret pain. Is it the worst thing that has ever happened? Does it mean that the coach doesn’t like me? Or does it mean that my body is being challenged and I will be better and stronger tomorrow? Does it mean that I am getting future wins for the pain I am experiencing today? Does it mean that the coach cares enough to push me so I find out how far I can go beyond what I thought were my limits?
..
Suffering is a choice based on what we tell ourselves about the meaning of our current situation. By recognizing and controlling our choice of meaning, we get to experience life differently (and often in a better way).
..
“We embrace and overcome Challenges” is the third tenet or value. Life is full of challenges. Some we choose and some are forced upon us. Basketball is very similar and it reveals that the challenges we choose are often related to the challenges that are forced on us.
..
For example, if we choose to challenge ourselves physically (so we get into peak condition) by the time we face outside challenges, such as a game against another school, we will be better prepared to overcome whatever challenge they may bring.
..
Preparation is one of the keys to winning and our mindset or approach toward challenges will determine how well we can prepare. Will there be challenges we did not anticipate or prepare for? Certainly. If not in basketball, there are always challenges in school and in life which we did not expect. Even with these challenges, if we approach them with a “Never Quit” attitude and with a clear understanding of how “We Control of Our Mind”, we will be much more likely to create a successful outcome.

Bottom Line…

I coach to win. Not because winning is the “ultimate goal” but rather because learning how to win is a skill that can be applied to almost any area of your life. It helps my players “set a higher standard” for their basketball careers as well as the rest of their life. They become winners.
..
Just like classroom teachers who provide critical skills such as algebra or proper grammar, I provide the skill of winning. The mindset that says “I will never quit”, “I know how to control my mind (and emotions)” and “I embrace and overcome challenges” because there will always be challenges if you want to achieve something great. In fact, there will always be challenges even if you aren’t trying to achieve something great… so why not choose greatness?

Let's build a winning mindset

Mental Toughness – Challenges & Problems

This post is about Challenges (sometimes called “problems” by other people). It was inspired by some ideas I learned from a book I just finished called “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. I should warn you… the F-word is used throughout the book… ALOT. Not that it bothered me as I was reading. It seemed to come from the author’s authentic voice and probably added more “flavor” to the book than if he had used the word”care” instead.

Bottom Line?

It is a book about what you care about and how to deal with things that you either don’t care about or should not care about. Obviously understanding the difference for each of those categories is critical for anyone who wants to lead a productive, successful and fulfilling life.
Bottom Line… good book. Read it.

Now let’s talk about Challenges…

Everyone has problems. I prefer to use the word “Challenges” (and it should be clear why by the end of this post) but Mark calls them problems so we will go with that… for now.

Picture two people.

The first one is the richest person in the world. Or maybe just the richest person you know or have heard of. For this example, NOT Donald Trump (his problems are in a completely different class). Getting back to the rich dude… Do you think they have problems? Think about it… Where are they going to invest all their money? Who can they trust with their money? Maybe they want to help people… which charity (out of the millions who might deserve help) should they donate to? Finally, how are they going to spend their money? If you have not seen the movie Brewster’s Millions with Richard Pryor, find a copy and watch it. Rich people definitely have problems.

On the other end of the spectrum, picture the poorest person in the world. Hopefully it is not someone you know. Maybe they have horrible clothes that don’t keep them warm enough. It is easy to imagine that they don’t know where their next meal will come from or where they will sleep. It is not hard to imagine their problems.

Why are we comparing these two people?

First they both have problems. In Life, you will always have problems. Get over it and move on.

Second, and this is a critical point, there are different types of problems. Some problems are better to have than others. What if the rich person was overweight and had terminal cancer? All of their “good problems” might be wiped out by a bad problem.

Where am I going with this?

You are going to have problems and you are going to have to deal with them. The Buddha put a different way, “Life is suffering.” Mark says “Life is a never-ending series of problems.”

Let’s Talk Happiness

It may seem like a hard right turn to go from “everyone has problems” and “Deal with it” to talking about Happiness but Mark brings up a good point in his book that explains how problems are related to your happiness. (And probably not in the way that you expect.)

One of the premises in Mark’s book is that “Happiness is solving problems.” Mark adds, “To be happy, we need something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of action.”

I like this idea. Happiness is not a destination. It is something you do along the journey.

In other words, don’t bother saying “I will be happy when I get a raise” or “… when I get married” or “… when I have kids”. Solve the problems that are in front of you and keep moving in the direction of your dreams… knowing that happiness is a worthwhile journey.

Happiness is a process.

Part of that process is figuring out what you are willing to tackle, which problems you might LIKE to solve, while you are on the journey to your dreams.

There will be problems you would have never chosen… but they still need to be solved. The funny (?) thing is that everyone will run into a pile of sh*t along the way. The question is what (or how much) are you willing to push through to get a great life?

Mark says, “Struggles determine our successes. Our problems birth our happiness, along with slightly better, upgraded problems.”

In other words, the joy is in the struggle!

Quick Review:

Everyone has problems (both good and bad).
We will always have problems and the act of solving them brings happiness (“along with slightly better problems”.)
We get to choose how we approach our problems.
(Hint: we can call them challenges or opportunities.)
(More about how to approach challenges/problems in Part II of this post)

Coach’s Obstacle of the Week (COW) #2 – Words

cow-basketball One of the biggest pet peeves I have as a coach is the damaging words that players sometimes use. As we get older, we appreciate how important the words we use are and, as a coach, one of the worst things to hear is when one of the players on the team says “I can’t”. I know how much damage those words are doing to that player in terms of confidence and future potential and I can feel my blood pressure starts to rise. I would much prefer them to say “I am not yet able” and I will tell you why…

Words program our minds

We all have an “internal dialog” going on in our head. We are telling ourselves what everything means that happens to us and this often leads to the mood we are in, or worse, whether we quit and never reach our full potential.

The good news is that we can take control of our internal dialogue and start to program our mind to take us where we want to go in life (and on the court). The first step to controlling our internal dialogue is noticing what you are saying and putting a stop to the words or phrases that are holding you back.

light-hford As I mentioned before, one great example is “I can’t”. Whenever you catch yourself saying, or thinking, the words “I can’t”, immediately STOP and take another look at the situation. When you say “I can’t” that implies that you never will. The reality often is that you simply have not trained long enough to accomplish the task or have not learned what is required to do it. I always come back to the idea that if someone else has done it, then I can too. I just need to find out what they did and do the same thing (or at least use their path as a guide to my success). This is called “modeling” and is a powerful tool to get what you want.

What words or phrases are holding back your players?

Another word that I hate to hear are the infamous, “But”. “Coach, I know that is the right way to do it, but…” Typically the word “but” is followed by an excuse. At the very least, it says that the statement they just made is not true or they don’t believe it is possible. As a speaker friend of mine likes to say, “You can either have results or excuses. Your choice.”

Are there words or phrases that you hear that are holding back players? What are they? How do you turn them around? What words are better replacements? Leave a comment below and let us know!

Did you miss COW# 1? Check it out here…
Coach’s Obstacle of the Week (COW) # 1

Coach’s Obstacle of the Week (COW) #1 – Slow Start

Coaches Obstacle of the Week (COW) — cow image courtesy of ModernFarmer.com!

What obstacle have you encountered this week? What obstacles or challenging situations have you overcome (or not) and how did you tackle it?

I have always said that problems at the individual level are always easier to solve at the group level. Why? Because the odds go up in a group that someone has already solved the problem or challenge or “obstacle” that is causing you trouble. Is there more than one way to solve a particular problem? Of course, but wouldn’t it save you time to at least consider what someone else has already tried?

Our goal with the weekly “COW’s” is to leverage the experience of our fellow coaches so that when you encounter one of the situations we describe here you are armed with some ideas for a solution. As the coach of your team, you always get the choice of what you think will work best for your team in that situation. Need an example? Here is one from my own history…

COW # 1 – The Slow Start / Poor Shooting

This example of a COW might be something that a lot of coaches have encountered…

My team started out the game very slow and fell behind 7-0 before we knew what hit us. To compound the situation, it was against our toughest rival who had beaten us multiple times the year before. If things kept going this way, it was not going to be a pretty picture by the end of the game. What would you do?Need more information about the situation?

We were taking good, high percentage open shots that just were not going in. They were shots that we typically make. We also did not get as many offensive rebounds as we had against other teams. (That could be because of the competition or our own effort… hard to say.) Our full court press, which was one of our strongest weapons, had yet to be applied since we had not scored. I called a timeout. What would you say to your team?

Here is what I said in the timeout.
Do you agree? Or would you have done something different?

“OK, we are taking good shots and we got the misses out of the way. Keep moving the ball and shooting those open shots. Do you know why we were missing? We were TOO open. We had time to think about the shot before we shot it. We don’t have to think… just pull the trigger and put it in.

What we do need to do is hustle after those offensive rebounds and get more shots. Keep playing hard, especially on defense and we will wear them down. They can’t keep up with us!”

What do you think happened?

Leave your comments and ideas below. Once I get a comment or two, I will let you know how this challenge turned out and break down the psychology of it as well.

Be sure to add your own COWs to the comments as well. It might be chosen for next week’s COW discussion!