One of the biggest pet peeves I have as a coach is the damaging words that players sometimes use. As we get older, we appreciate how important the words we use are and, as a coach, one of the worst things to hear is when one of the players on the team says “I can’t”. I know how much damage those words are doing to that player in terms of confidence and future potential and I can feel my blood pressure starts to rise. I would much prefer them to say “I am not yet able” and I will tell you why…
Words program our minds
We all have an “internal dialog” going on in our head. We are telling ourselves what everything means that happens to us and this often leads to the mood we are in, or worse, whether we quit and never reach our full potential.
The good news is that we can take control of our internal dialogue and start to program our mind to take us where we want to go in life (and on the court). The first step to controlling our internal dialogue is noticing what you are saying and putting a stop to the words or phrases that are holding you back.
As I mentioned before, one great example is “I can’t”. Whenever you catch yourself saying, or thinking, the words “I can’t”, immediately STOP and take another look at the situation. When you say “I can’t” that implies that you never will. The reality often is that you simply have not trained long enough to accomplish the task or have not learned what is required to do it. I always come back to the idea that if someone else has done it, then I can too. I just need to find out what they did and do the same thing (or at least use their path as a guide to my success). This is called “modeling” and is a powerful tool to get what you want.
What words or phrases are holding back your players?
Another word that I hate to hear are the infamous, “But”. “Coach, I know that is the right way to do it, but…” Typically the word “but” is followed by an excuse. At the very least, it says that the statement they just made is not true or they don’t believe it is possible. As a speaker friend of mine likes to say, “You can either have results or excuses. Your choice.”
Are there words or phrases that you hear that are holding back players? What are they? How do you turn them around? What words are better replacements? Leave a comment below and let us know!
Did you miss COW# 1? Check it out here…
Coach’s Obstacle of the Week (COW) # 1